When work feels harder: men’s mental health at work

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When work feels harder: men’s mental health at work

Men’s mental health can affect how work feels long before someone says they’re struggling. Here’s how to notice changes, check in with a colleague and find support for yourself.

An ordinary working day can take more effort than it used to. You might reread an email several times before replying, lose patience in a meeting, or stay late because a familiar task took longer than expected. None of those moments tells you what’s wrong, but a change from your usual working day may be worth noticing.

Gradual changes can be hard to spot, even when you’re the person experiencing them. A colleague may go quiet at lunch, while another starts filling every break with work or snaps at a small request. You might explain your own tiredness as a busy week. Each day can look close enough to the last that the change only becomes clear over time.

Men don’t all respond to difficult periods in the same way. If a colleague seems different from their usual self, you can check in privately without asking them to explain their health. You can give your own changes that same attention without needing to name a cause first.

How it can show up in an ordinary working day

A colleague who usually contributes in meetings might have trouble following a discussion or become irritable over a small request. You might notice the same changes in yourself, alongside fatigue that makes familiar work take longer. A demanding week or poor sleep could also explain these changes.

Compare what you notice with that person’s usual behaviour, not an idea of how men show distress. NHS guidance lists irritability, low energy, difficulty making decisions and avoiding social contact among possible symptoms of depression. Working late doesn’t establish why someone is struggling. Depression can develop gradually, and the person experiencing a change may not recognise it at first.

A difficult few days don’t tell you whether someone has a mental health condition. The NHS advises seeing a GP when symptoms of depression occur for most of the day, every day, for more than two weeks. You don’t need to wait for that point to notice a change or make room for a conversation.

Why changes can go unnoticed

Work can hide the effort behind a finished task. Someone may still answer messages and meet deadlines while finding it harder to concentrate or switch off afterwards. Colleagues see the completed work, not the extra hours it took. The person doing the work may also put the change down to a busy period, especially when another urgent task arrives each week.

Silence doesn’t tell you how someone feels. A colleague may want privacy, feel unsure how to start a conversation, or worry that speaking up will change how others treat them. None of those possibilities tells you what they’re experiencing.

Checking in with a colleague

Choose a private moment when you have time to listen. Movember’s ALEC approach gives you four steps for checking in without asking a colleague to explain more than they want to.

Ask. Name a change you’ve noticed rather than guessing what it means. You might say, “You’ve seemed more on edge than usual this week. How are you doing?” If they say they’re fine, let them know you’re available if they want to talk later.

Listen. Give them your attention and let them set the pace. “That sounds tiring. Do you want to tell me more?” is enough. You don’t need to diagnose the problem or offer a solution. Let them decide how much detail to share.

Encourage Action. Ask what might help now. If work is part of the difficulty, you could offer to join them for a break or suggest a conversation about their workload. If they’re concerned about how they feel, you could ask whether they’d like support finding professional help. You can say, “Would talking to a doctor feel useful?” rather than pressing them to make an appointment.

Check In. Ask whether they’d welcome another conversation, perhaps with “Would it be alright if I messaged you next week?” Respect their privacy. If you’re concerned about their immediate safety, seek urgent help rather than promising to keep the conversation secret. A colleague who isn’t ready to talk hasn’t failed the conversation. Respecting that choice leaves them free to come back when they want to.

What organisations can do

Employers can make workload conversations routine rather than waiting for someone to say they’re struggling. A manager can ask which tasks feel manageable, agree what to deprioritise and check whether rest breaks are possible. Acas includes workload priorities and breaks among the adjustments an employer can discuss with a worker experiencing mental health difficulties.

Organisations should make support easy to find without asking staff to name a condition. Explain how to contact HR or an employee assistance programme, if one is available, and who will receive the request. Explain what information, if any, a manager or HR will receive. Check the support provider’s privacy terms before describing its service as confidential.

An anonymous workforce survey can help employers identify work pressures without asking employees to disclose a diagnosis. HSE’s Stress Indicator Tool gathers employees’ views on sources of stress at work. Explain who can see responses and results, avoid reporting on groups so small that someone might be identifiable, and tell employees what action follows.

A note on where to start

If you recognise some of these changes in yourself, start with one thing you can manage today. Tell someone you trust that work has felt harder lately, or write down what has changed in your sleep, energy, or concentration. You don’t need to work out why you feel this way before you ask for support.

At work, you can ask your manager which tasks need attention first if your workload feels unmanageable. You could also ask for protected breaks or a quieter place to work. You can discuss what would help without sharing more about your health than you want to.

If symptoms of depression affect you for most of the day, every day, for more than two weeks, NHS guidance recommends seeing a GP or doctor. You can seek help sooner if you’re concerned. If you might harm yourself or someone else, or you’re in immediate danger, call your local emergency number now. In the UK, call 999. If you need urgent mental health help but aren’t in immediate danger, seek help through the urgent mental health service where you live. In England, you can call NHS 111 and select the mental health option.

Support can include conversations, professional care and everyday habits such as sleep and connection. Champion Life is a wellbeing app for individuals that can help you build those habits alongside other support.

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